A girl deciding to try out for the school soccer team. A college student purchasing a candy bar from a vending machine. A husband with a wife and children deciding to have an affair.
What do all of these have in common?
The answer is that they are acting on their beliefs.
But what beliefs, you might ask? Well, what is the reason you do anything?
Why would a college student spend money for a Snickers bar from a vending machine? In this instance, it would be to satisfy his or her hunger. So the underlying belief is, “This candy bar will make me less hungry.” Whether he or she realizes it or not, this belief is determining his or her actions.
In the example of the adulterous husband, one of the reasons he might have an affair is because he’s seeking something “different,” a sort of variety perhaps. The underlying belief might be, “This woman I am having an affair with can provide something that my wife can’t.” Whether he believes he’ll experience more passion, a sense of belonging, or whatever she’s “providing,” the underlying belief is still the same.
But where do these beliefs come from?
Well, these beliefs are influenced by our thoughts and what we see. They tend to be solutions to what we feel we are lacking as well.
For the girl who wants to be on the soccer team, she might see the support and community that the girls team has with each other and might think, “I want to feel this sense of belonging,” and “The girls on the soccer team seem to be really close with each other,” therefore leading to the belief that if she makes the team, she will have more friends and fill that desire for community.
Understanding this concept isn’t very hard, as we can see this happening all around us. The challenge is when we fail to recognize this in ourselves.
For the Christian, this is why we make decisions that we regret and don’t honor God and at the end ask ourselves, “how did we get here?”
This is what I would like to talk about.
Let’s go back to the husband that cheated on his wife. How did he get to believing that an affair would be a better choice than fidelity?
Well, back to the original question: How do beliefs get formed in the first place?
This could have been from external stimuli (such as talk among coworkers or watching movies that glorify a “player” mindset), or his own thoughts (such as fantasizing about this particular person).
But I would like to focus less on the presence of lies and more on the absence of truth.
In John 8:32, Jesus says, “…You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…” Free from what? Jesus answers this in verse 34, “…Very truly I tell you. Everyone who sins is a slave to sin.” Jesus is expressing here that knowing the truth will free people from sin.
David expresses the same idea in Psalm 119:9,11 saying “How can a young man stay in the path of purity? By living according to your word” and “I have hidden your word in my heart so that I may not sin against you.” So knowing and believing the truth will help to prevent a Christian from sinning.
Sounds easy, right?
Well, not so much because of two words: spiritual warfare.
I’m talking about when your head is spinning with insecurities, fears, and lies from the enemy saying “No one likes you,” or “You should feel worse about yourself,” or even for our adulterous husband example, “Isn’t this marriage so boring? Remember the days you had more fun before you were married?”
Similarly to how an external advertisement can affect someone’s belief about a candy bar, Satan is trying to influence our beliefs through our thoughts.
So what do we do?
How do we prevent ourselves from making decisions that will dishonor God and leave us wondering how our lives fell apart?
1) Check our beliefs, be honest with ourselves, and confess our false beliefs
Proverbs 14:25 – “The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.”
Proverbs 14:8 – “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thoughts to their ways, but the folly of
fools is deception.”
In order to live wisely, it is vital to reflect on what we believe. This is the way we are able to identify what we are subconsciously believing. This takes work and digging deep into your own heart, but being aware of your false beliefs is half of the battle.
For the potential adulterer, this might look like him confessing to another believer, “I’m not satisfied with my marriage and I’m believing the lie that an affair would make me happier.”
2) Exchange our false beliefs for the truth
John 14:6 – “I am the way and the truth and the life.”
Once we have identified our false belief, it is vital that we replace it with the truth and meditate on it.
For instance, the husband might identify the false belief, and then correct it by meditating on Proverbs 5:3-5 and Proverbs 6:24-35 (left for the reader to read on their own).
3) Defend our beliefs from the enemy
2 Corinthians 10:5 – “We demolish arguments and any pretension that sets itself against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
We must constantly take the lies and the thoughts spinning around in our head, and remember and reemphasize the truth that we know. We make it obedient to Jesus (who is the Truth) and stand firm.
This can look like praying the truth over the lies in your head, turning to the truth of God's word in the middle of a chaotic mind space, or reaching out to God's people for help and to simply “get these thoughts out” whenever you are being attacked.
For the husband trying to stay away from adultery, this might look like seeing the neighbor across the street and hearing, “Doesn’t she look exciting? I bet if you did it no one would even know.” And instead of letting his thoughts inform his beliefs, he quotes Jesus and says, “Get behind me Satan!”
This is the hard inner work that we get to take part in as Christians.
However, only when we take time to reflect, seek truth, and win in our thought lives will we see sin patterns end, addictions break, and our joy become complete.
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